National Quitters Day, Going Boeing, Bitcoin ETF Shenanigans, Microsoft vs. Apple Scuffle, and More!

Vonetta Logan's weekly recap of the big business, news, markets, political, cultural and viral trending stories featured this week on Daily Dose

What’s up tastynation! Welcome to this week’s edition of Weekly Dose! Each week, I recap the top stories that I covered on Daily Dose. If you missed any episode of Daily Dose you can catch up on them here. 

On a scale of 1-10, how would you guys rate the first full week of 2024? We got bitcoin, Boeing and a blizzard all in a single week! Imma need this year to pump the brakes because if this is going to be the pace for the entire year, I will need to get long stock in Celsius (CELH) energy drinks.

For those of you who make resolutions, I hope they are going well. I do find it hilarious that Friday, Jan. 12, is recognized as National Quitter’s Day. Let’s get into the recap. 

Let’s get this Boeing going 

On Friday, Jan. 5, Alaska Airlines (ALK) flight 1282 suffered an inflight incident as its plug door decided it wanted to pursue a career as a content creator and made its viral debut by ripping itself from the plane and then landing in the yard of an unassuming science teacher. Luckily, no passengers or crew were injured and seemingly all of the plane’s passengers were active TikTokers so there’s tons of video of the ordeal.

The incident is the second high-profile plane-related incident of 2024, following the runway disaster in Japan. Unfortunately, it's yet another blemish on Boeing’s (BA) sketchy safety record. Seriously, if you haven't watched Downfall: The Case Against Boeing on Netflix (NFLX), do it now. The Federal Aviation Administration has announced it will audit Boeing’s production line after the incident. Uh, ya think?

Both Alaska and United Airlines (UAL) are working to shuffle their schedules to accommodate the grounding of the planes. Luckily, no one was seated next to the door that blew, but the guy sitting in the row behind the cursed seat had his shoe (!!) and iPhone sucked out of the hole (hee hee).

Amazingly, someone found his phone in working condition in some grass. Maybe Apple (AAPL) should build planes. Also, what kind of case you got on that phone, homie? Surviving a 16,000 ft drop is wild.

Boeing’s stock started the week at around $227 and looks to close around $218. 

Bitcoin ETFs finally get approved 

What a wild, weird week for Bitcoin. On Tuesday, a tweet seeming to originate from the Securities and Exchange Commission (SEC) on X/Twitter account was posted saying that bitcoin ETFs had been approved. The price of bitcoin briefly spiked on the news, before retreating. In a later statement Tuesday evening, an SEC spokesperson told CNBC the agency determined there had been unauthorized access to the regulator’s X account “by an unknown party.” It’s probably because the password is: Genslerisdabomb and someone cracked it.

On Thursday, the SEC did go ahead and give the green light to the spot bitcoin ETFs. The SEC said it approved 11 applications, from companies including Blackrock (BLK) and Ark Investments (ARKK). Standard Chartered analysts said the ETFs could draw $50 billion to $100 billion this year alone.

Not to be left out, SEC Chairman Gary Gensler climbed onto the highest apple crate he could find and declared that "we did not approve or endorse bitcoin.” He went on to say that”investors should remain cautious about the myriad risks associated with bitcoin and products whose value is tied to crypto." #staypetty

U.S.-listed bitcoin ETFs saw $4.6 billion worth of shares trade hands as of Thursday afternoon, according to London Stock Exchange Group (LSEG). Celebration all around! Unless you have a Vanguard account. The massive pain in the asset manager announced that its clients would not have the ability to trade the shiny new bitcoin ETFs. Vanguard claimed the new products do not align with their stuffy, stodgy aesthetic. Hear investor Tom Sosnoff’s thoughts on the matter here. 

Apple and Microsoft battle for tech supremacy 

The Nasdaq (QQQ) put together a nice week of decent gains, but the big story in the tech sector this week is the battle between Apple (AAPL) and Microsoft (MSFT).

Apple started the week by announcing the release date of its new VR headset. Oops, I have just been tapped on the shoulder by an Apple employee wearing a black turtleneck. How did you get into my house? OK, OK. I am told it is not a VR headset, as those are for commoners. The Apple iteration shall henceforth be known as a “spatial computing” device. The spatial computing device of your dreams will cost you $3,500. Plus $149 if you’re a nerd/elderly millennial like me and you wear prescription glasses. The device will go on sale Feb. 2. I would like to point out to any potential benefactors that my birthday is Feb. 16. Sooooooo.

Also this week, Apple found out it’s up next in the Department of Justice’s crosshairs for monopoly shenanigans. In good news for consumers, some checks started arriving in mailboxes this week from a class action settlement where Apple maybe sorta kinda throttled the shit out of your phone’s battery so you would just give up and buy a new one. And then to round out the crap week, Apple got downgraded for the third time this week.

Conversely, Microsoft is having a grand ole time. Microsoft briefly eclipsed Apple as the most valuable company. There could definitely be some opportunity for a fun pairs trade if you think Apple has been oversold and that Microsoft is getting a little too cocky for its britches. “It looks like you’re trying to overtake Apple. Would you like some help?” Not now, Clippy!   

Random Chicanery 

These are my favorite funny stories of the week 

• Velveeta’s marketing department must be stopped 
• AI George Carlin is a bad idea, but probably still funnier than Jo Koy 
• Taylor Swift remains the Queen 

Will Tom Eat It? Bust Out Burgers 

That’s it for this week! See ya next week! 

Vonetta Logan has more than a decade of markets experience and has been a trader for five years. She is an on-air personality, creative writer and news correspondent at tastylive. Vonetta  appears Monday-Friday on Daily Dose and contributes to Luckbox Magazine. @vonettalogan

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